yesterday was fun. i went to the guns house all day. took some good new myspace pictures. yeah. and then we got coffee and hairdye, something we seem to do alot. and then hiked up her little hill to get home. out of breath.
ryan never called or replied to my text messages yesterday. i didn't expect a breakup. never ignoring, and for certain the whole thing in general. i didn't even know we were having problems. in fact, i really don't know much about his explanations. all i know is he obviously has other things to do, and other people to see. "it's just hard to have a girlfriend down there when i'm up at school." and as chrissy put it, translation: "i'm getting mass pussy and i don't need you anymore." i have a feeling he has been and i have a feeling that it's always better than me. and if not better, more convenient. it's nothing to me now. honestly. i really can't anticipate feeling better soon, especially since i know there's no way he'll speak to me unless he needs nookie when he comes to visit.no problem.it's gotten to the point where eating is an option because i'm so sad that i just don't care anymore,my stomach is full of aspirin and water and i'm getting all my energy from sunshine, which i might add i sheild myself from by never wearing less than jeans and wife beaters. anywyas, ryan is over me, and i miss him to shit. i guess it's just weird not having someone to say goodnight to.
i'm lucky i've got some good friends. one of which is my verin, my love, my therapist. i love him.
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he needs someone to take care of him and deserves a better friend than me.
on the bright side, my grandma is doing better and she should be out of the hospital today or tomorrow. my mom is taking me and chrissy off campus to eat today,and at least i still have tony hawk underground.
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sister_soldier's journal
tired
full
envious
cynical
okay